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How to raise ethical and honorable kids in a complicated world

Posted on March 11th, 2011 by Makebra Bridges No Comments

www.vivaciousmum.com

This article is from Vivacious Mum.  Vivacious Mum is a member of the Diary of a Single Mom Bloggers Network.  Real women.  Real mothers.  Real life.

We all wish to grow healthy, happy relationships with our children. We interact, play and talk with our children to enjoy one another and feel connected. In those moments when we are in conflict with our kids at home, we wonder “What can I do to enhance my relationships with my children?”  One way to improve our relationships is to show that we honor one another.

In its simplest terms, honor is the degree of value, worth and importance you place on a relationship. It is granting another person a position of value in your life. You likely model honor in your own home naturally. You are caring, loving and trustworthy. If you are ready to delve deeper, here are some steps to spring you forward in the depth and experience of teaching honor in your own home.

3 Reasons Honor Begins at Home

1. You are your children’s finest role model. If you respect your children in your words and behaviors they learn to do the same with others.

2. Honor is about allegiance, when you teach your children to honor their relationships they become friends who stand up for one another, support one another and are true to each other.

3. Honoring honesty, hard work and patience builds children who value hard work and completing tasks to their rightful end.

Reflect for a moment: Do you honor your relationships? Is it important to you that people honor and give value to what you say and feel? How do you show your children that you honor them?

Questions to Ask Yourself

Here are some questions to ponder. You might even wish to write them in a journal and note what you do, when and why? This process will bring honor front of mind, help you monitor your tone and change your behavior as needed.

• Do I talk with my children eye to eye?

• Do I share their exuberance when they show me their schoolwork?

• Do I make their lunches based on what’s quick or do I buy food that will keep them healthy, and that they in turn like?

• Do I take phone calls in my car when I am with my children?

• Do we make an effort to sit down to family breakfast and dinner?

• Do I attend my children’s sporting events and pay attention to them, or do I take calls on my cell phone while my children are doing their best on the playing field?

• Do I involve my children in the tasks of everyday life such as cleaning, cooking and caring for our home? Or do I tell them “I’ll do it” because that is easier than working through the process with them or dealing with pending messes?

• Do I take the time to genuinely learn about my child’s interests?

• Do I schedule my work hours when the children are at school or do I work at home all hours of the night when they are home and need me?

• Do I focus on what my children do right rather than what my children do wrong?

No one is perfect, but when we strive to be mindful about how we honor our family, it builds trust, respect and love.

6 Tips for Communicating with Kids

In relationships where we honor one another, listen to our children’s unique voices and really hear what they need, we improve how we communicate, how we express our love and how we get along across a lifetime. If you are ready to take steps today try this:

1. Be consistent with your children.

2. Be attuned to their individual needs.

3. Respond to your children by getting off the couch, computer or phone and going to them. Proximity matters when you are communicating with your children.

4. Take your child’s concerns seriously. This means acknowledging their feelings. Do not mock or tease your children. Sarcasm is painful and it cuts deeply.

5. Match your child’s exuberance and excitement by sharing whole-heartedly in their joy.

6. Give your children your undivided attention in the moments they need you.

If we wish to raise ethical children in this complicated world, we need to begin with the lessons we teach at home. Being present, modeling respect and showing the meaning of honor is a solid start at any age.

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