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Relationships 101: a crash course in relationships & dating

Posted on January 2nd, 2012 by Alexis Cala 1 Comment
Teen dating and relationships

Courtesy of jessiejacobson (via Flickr)

Relationships – they aren’t exactly what you see on TV or in the movies, are they? But that doesn’t mean meeting a great person and having a strong, healthy relationship is impossible.

Taking your time, getting to know what you want and understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships can help you get there. So, let’s start from the beginning.

Asking them out

More than 29 percent of teens said they’ve asked someone out and 43 percent said they’ve been asked out using text messaging. Why? Because it’s less awkward if it’s over text.. No one likes being rejected, but at least if it’s via text it sort of lessens the blow.

Dating, going out, hooking up, or whatever you want to call it..

According to one survey, 1 in 10 teenagers (12 percent) are currently in a relationship with someone they’ve been dating for more than a year.

But even those not in a “serious” relationship are still getting out there. More than half of teens (57 percent) say they regularly go out on dates, and a third say they have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend. Of course, after a year, questions about sex, commitment and concerns about how healthy the relationship is are likely to come up.

Teen Dating Violence

Planned Parenthood says the keys to a healthy relationship are — respect, honesty, trust, fairness, equality, and good communication. But what does an unhealthy relationship look like?

A few facts about dating violence: Nearly 1 in 4 girls who have been in a relationship (23%) reported going further sexually than they wanted to as a result of pressure. And 1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner. Here are a few things to consider to help you determine if you’re in a healthy or unhealthy relationship:

Do you:

  • Ever feel guilty about having your own friends and own interests?
  • Often feel pressured to spend time with your boyfriend/girlfriend when you’d rather do something else?
  • Keep opinions or concerns to yourself to make things easier?
  • Change your behavior to avoid fighting with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Do they:

  • Get jealous when you talk to friends of the opposite sex?
  • Complain about or try to control what you wear?
  • Call or text you excessively?
  • Push you to do things you aren’t sure you want to (like sex, drugs, etc.)?

If you answered yes to at least one of these questions, consider calling a domestic violence hotline, like the loveisrespect.org hotline: 1-866-331-9474 (1-866-331-8453 TTY), National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 or teenrelationships.org hotline: 800-300-1080, to talk to someone about what you’re going through.

The Breakup

The most common time for breakups is around three to five months. But it’s tough no matter how long you’ve been dating or who does the breaking up. Just know it does get better and there are lots of fish in the sea.

Of course, with social networking and texting, breakups have changed a bit over the years. Now, more teens are using Facebook and SMS to breakup (before you do, check out this list of do’s and don’t of texting in a relationship). In fact, out of 10,000 guys and girls age 16-21, 10 percent have been dumped on Facebook. And 30 percent have been dumped via text. You’re not alone!

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One Response

  1. dating relationships should start with the same things that strong friendships start with good communication, truthfulness, and respect. Dating relationships are a little different because they may include physical traditions of showing you care, like hugging, kissing, or holding hands. woman has a happy relationship with her boyfriend. However it is a complicated relationship. Not only is he her boss, but he is also married. Her friends do not approve of her relationship which makes it even harder for her.

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